I don’t want to be put on a pedestal

I don’t want to be put on a pedestal.⁣

I don’t want to be everything you’ve ever wanted.⁣

I want to love sober. I want to love messy. I want you to see my damage, my pain, my past. ⁣

Without it being clouded by the drug-addiction esque ride that is ‘the beginning’.⁣

Make knowing me the beginning. Don’t leave it until the rush fades, and we’re left to look around at the dull greys we painted with dopamine, figuring out how we’re going to navigate them. ⁣

Teach me to slow down. Teach me to feel safety in being incomplete. ⁣

See all of my human. Whilst knowing that I will never be yours to keep. I’m not to be owned or guaranteed, none of us are.⁣

So see me as right now. Not as my potential. Not as who I am without my past. Not as binding to each other to hide our pain and then confuse that as love.⁣

And in this slow, messy, sometimes painful journey to getting to know one another as we are,⁣

Let us love our truth.⁣

LYL xoxoxo⁣

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