I want to scream this from the rooftops. Get it tattooed.
Push people away? You were used to getting hurt.
Talk about yourself too much? Because no one ever listened.
Control issues? You were forced to be the responsible one.
Obviously each incidence is unique to each individuals circumstances, but you get the idea.
These are not ‘faults’ or ‘failures’ but maladaptive COPING mechanisms. Ways you SURVIVED. (And what a trooper you are for doing that despite everything you had to go through).
So, two things:
1) Have some compassion.
2) Know that just because it’s who you were, doesn’t mean it’s who you are.
Open the doors to all the ways you can help yourself grow.