Traumatized individuals are often stuck in a painful paradox: to be close to another is felt to be unsafe, but so is aloneness. We cannot trust either option.
We experience our minds as alone (the most challenging way to deal with trauma) and also feel on high alert all the time, with no one allowed close enough to protect us from ourselves.
The right therapist can be helpful, if available. The right lifestyle can be helpful, if available. Patient friends and support networks can be helpful, if available.
Outside of that is strength. (We don’t want to be strong all the time, it’s exhausting). Is faith (but isn’t believing in anything the same as getting close to something – can’t I get hurt?).
It can feel like an impossible burden bearing the weight of trauma. But please know that you’re not alone. It can get easier. And you DO have options.
These are the things I wish someone had said to me before I embarked on this healing journey. So here’s my ‘I CAN have good days now’ hot chocolate happy face and a bit of loving for you.